Big Chop

Going natural is a hot topic right now. Whether it be a natural lifestyle, natural food or natural hair....natural is IN! In this particular instance, I am talking about natural hair. I have been back and forth for a while about going natural, meaning I would stop putting chemicals in my hair. I have always had a lot of hair. My mother took pride in caring for my hair and thickening it up. I always had my hair in some type of french braid style as a kid. The beehive, braids to the back with beads, ponytails with barrettes and beads....I remember, I would always hit myself in the eye or the tooth with those damn beads LOL I never really wore my hair out, but when I did.....hair everywhere! My mom had the nerve to put a black headband in my hair in this picture.....NOW YOU KNOW you can't see that damn head band, can you??! LOL I still crack up about that...

I was about 12 or 13 when I got my first relaxer. They say you shouldn't put any chemicals in a girls hair until after she starts her menstrual cycle, so that is what my mother did. You couldn't tell me nothin'! My hair was flowy, long, shiny and I the best part was, I could do it myself since the relaxer took away that super thickness. I flat ironed it all the time and put it in a ponytail a lot too since I played basketball. When I got to college it was a totally different hair game! Since I came from a high school that was majority white and went to college at Prairie View A&M University, I knew nothing about weaves and all that. I ended up meeting (one of my now best friends) a girl who did hair on the side, so I had her hook me up! I got braids (which pulled my edges), I got quick weaves (which pulled my hair because we weren't doing them right at that time), put a lot of heat to it which damaged it, etc, etc. After getting that out of my system, I had to try and salvage my hair because I had damaged it so badly. So I consciously started caring more for my hair. At that time, all I was concerned with was getting my edges back and getting my hair back to being healthy. So I cut it.

The first time I cut my hair, I got this cute bob and died it a honey brown....and kept the relaxer....but got rid of my frayed ends. I loved my short hair, my family on the other hand, just about shit bricks. "OMG why did you cut your hair?!" "You're hair was so beautiful!!" "All that work your mother put into your hair and you just cut it!" "You can't even put it in a ponytail now!!" My thoughts were, it's just hair...it'll grow back! LOL and why does my hair have to be long (and straight) to be pretty? This is when I initially started thinking about going natural and what my hair really meant to me. I didn't want to fit in to the norm anymore, I wanted to be different. I grew my hair out a little without putting a relaxer on it and it just looked funny. I couldn't get it to work with me!! So I just cut it some more....that works right?

I did that whole Megan Good style, super short on one side and long on the other. I absolutely LOVED my hair like this. But again, I was missing the mark because I HAD to keep a relaxer in my hair since it was such a short style. So I was in the shop every week. Spending that moneyyy! So after budgeting it out and seeing how much I was spending at the beauty shop, I started taking matters into my own hands. I stopped relaxing my hair for a while and just did a bunch of different styles myself. It was like every week I had a new style. I learned to express myself through my hair. When I was feeling wild and crazy, that's how I would do my hair. When I was feeling sexy, that's how I would do my hair. When I wasn't feeling it, that's how I would do my hair. I began to get comfortable in my SKIN and realize that no matter how my HAIR is, I am beautiful.

Going natural is about more than just hair, it is about the journey. This journey requires full love for self, full knowledge of ones self and full acceptance of yourself. It also involves knowledge about the history of our beautiful ancestors....but that is another topic :) I believe that I am in a place in life right now where I am ready to fully embark on that journey. I thought I was ready before but I still had insecurities that I had to deal with. I still needed my hair to be an extension of me instead of me being confident in myself alone and not needing my hair. India Arie said it best, "I Am Not My Hair"... and I have learned that. I have not permed my hair in almost 7 or 8 months now. It is getting so thick again and there are beautiful curls at my roots that I want to let shine so badly!! But I do still have straight ends because there is still a little chemical in my hair. So today I pinned back my hair to get an idea of what it would look like if I went ahead and did the big chop....and I think I am totally loving it!!

I could just perm my hair and never think about it again. Going natural requires a lot of work. You don't just wake up in the morning and have beautiful bouncy curls, you have to prep your hair the night before! But I am ready to put in the extra work to maintain a beautiful crown. "A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life" - Coco Chanel To all of my queens who are out here shining with your natural hair, I salute you. To all my queens out here with relaxed hair, I salute you too. You see one is not better than the other, it is just a matter of preference. No matter what you choose to do with your hair, you are still you...and that is a beautiful thing!